Sunday, November 18, 2012

Vomit, Gynecological Wipes and My # 1 fan

From time to time, my #1 fan pops in to read my blog. I have to be honest, I know who my number # 1 fan is. And we have had some really fun adventures together! My #1 fan popped in a while back and eluded to some funny times we have shared. I was just sitting here thinking about the time...

We were driving, it was night and it was dark. I am in the passenger seat and my #1 fan is driving. We have two male passengers in the back seat that we are agreed to drive home although I have to be honest, we did not know them. They just happen to be leaving the same place we were and needed a ride (thinking back, bad idea on so many levels-oh yeah). There was some normal chit chat for a while and then it got pretty quiet in the back seat. It was dark in the car and we couldn't see much of what was going on in the back but didn't really think there was anything odd going on. We arrive to the location these male passengers wanted to be dropped off at. The guys jump out and it was a very quick good bye. It was then we realized the reason it got quiet in the backseat. It smelled bad. It was on the floor. Quite a lot of it actually. One of these guys had thrown up in the back seat. Yeah, the bugger really did. And said nothing. And they both ran out of the car faster than bats out of you know where. Apparently he had a bit too much too drink. Who would have thought a young man probably around 20 yrs old out after midnight on a Saturday night might have been drinking and too much at that? That would be odd, right?

The panic. The nastiness. The horror. What do we do? It's all over the floor in the backseat. We have no paper towels, nothing really to clean it up with. And then, I remember. In my purse I have some wipes! I had been to the doctor that morning and I always take the wipes they leave in the bathroom. You know the wipes you use to clean your hoo ha before you pee into the cup. Gynecological wipes. Yes, I take them from my doctors office bathroom.  A girl never knows when she might need to freshen up. Ha, no really I take a few now and then because I like free stuff. Don't judge me. I am not a clepto. Geez it's just a few wipes. Like I am the only one to put a few in her purse now and then (you know who you are!). On with the story. I present the wipes to my #1 fan. And this is what I love about my #1 fan. I don't think there was a pause, a skipped beat or question why I had them. My #1 fan knows me all to well, and could probably guess exactly why I had them. We clean up the vomit with the wipes and guess what? She also has some perfume in the car. Yay! We spray the wet spots with the Hugo boss perfume and voila! Problem solved. Strange boy vomit taken care of and under control. And let me tell you, there is nothing better than the smell of a recently vomited in car that has just been cleaned with Gyno wipes and Hugo Boss for her perfume. Awesome.

I am pretty sure we just hopped back in the car, had a good laugh and carried on home.

No big deal. Just another night for me and my # 1 fan.

Now this has me thinking of the another night that involved my #1 fan and I sitting for hours in the car. In the back of a dark parking lot in the wee hours of morning stalking waiting a boy she fancied at the time...

Oh to be young again...

Or maybe not.

Cheers to my #1 fan and to all the adventures we have yet to experience together, but no doubt in my mind we will! I love ya, you crazy nut!


  1. They didn't say a word? Big brats, lol, geez.

    I take paper napkins from McDonald's and put them in my console. ;)

    I'm visiting from the Weekend Blog Walk.

  2. Oh my god. I had no clue you had posted this. I laughed out lound, in my cubicle on my floor that is oddly very quiet right now. Our adventures are many and the reminiscing really makes my day. We might have to consider one per month. The next one could also include vomit. I am sure you know which one I am referring to!

    Bye for now,
    Your secret admirer

  3. Bahaha Oops, I meant to say #1 fan. Now I am your creepy stalker/secret admirer


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